My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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