Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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