found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
