one two three fourrrrnication!
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
