That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize