So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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