the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
