Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
