So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
