That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
