i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
PANTIES FOUND
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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