literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
