I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
