I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
