P.S. I can't hear my feet
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
