She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
my being single is dangerous.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
