how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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