i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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