I could have mohawked her pubes.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
PANTIES FOUND
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