More tranny stories later!
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize