I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
