I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
farters have to be the big spoon...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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