Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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