Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Semen is not good for contacts.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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