I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
