so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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