he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I am available for nakedness
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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