Well apparently he's into motor boating.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize