Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
