Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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