Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
