I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
