I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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