My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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