if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
