We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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