But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
