so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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