you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
We have started to decorate penises.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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