so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize