HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
This baby is an asshole
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
