Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
