His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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