Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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