Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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