...so i touched it.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Randomize
