Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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