I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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