You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
we're making bets on your personal life
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
