I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize