Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I checked into jail on foursquare
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
