We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
How external is "for external use only"?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize