): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
