Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
