Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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