Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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