is your mom at the bar?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
