Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
