Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
