I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I love you. Go after that dick
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
