id be glad to
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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