pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
