I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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