Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
