a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
